The Queen's Toy
by GirlWithNoLife
Summary: We know what happened with Max and his Psychic powers, but what about Sam and his Electromagnetic powers? This is my version of how it played out. (Please read before you write it off!)
1. Starting off with a Bang!

Sam and Max: The Queen's Toy

Summary: We know what happened with Max and his Psychic powers, but what about Sam and his Electromagnetic powers?

Disclaimer: Sam and Max belong to Steve Purcell and Telltale games. I just own this fanfic and any Os and Cs you might see.

Notes/Warning: As I do not own Sam and Max they may be out of character, and even though this is for teen, I mean 16+. This mean there will be a few "violent scenes." (It's Sam and Max! What do you expect?)

**(Chapter 1: Starting with a Bang!)**

"_**What if?"**_

_This one word and event is the key to creating thousand alternate worlds and universe. Such as, "_What if_ I ordered tea instead of coffee this morning?" From that, two universe were created; One where the coffee was ordered and one where the tea was ordered. From these small and seemingly insignificant events a series of events are set off._

_To study this experiment we shall observe a small "star" that is racing across the sky. In itself, this star may seem like nothing except to the dreamer, but now we apply the powerful word of "what if." For instance, what if while this star was flying by an item fell? And then, _what if_ this item was found? What series of events would follow? _

_Let's find out, shall we?_

*8*

_**BANG!**_

Max ducked as a scrap shard almost sliced off his head. Luckily it missed him, but unluckily it hit a control panel behind him making it explode and sending the lagomorph sprawling forward. Max let out a surprised yelp as his face skidded across the metallic floor of the ship.

"Hey! Watch it, will ya Sam?! You almost decapitated my cute fuzzy head!"  
His partner, Sam, didn't reply though, for in his tall, monstrous form with bulging muscles and sharp, fanged teeth that stuck out his lips he fought against a pack of aliens who were all climbing on him in an attempt to bring him down. There were other aliens who were shooting at him with the classic laser guns, though Max thought this was stupid as they were just hurting their fellows as the beams bounced off of Sam's new leather like skin. Max joined in the fight by shooting with his own gun, but as the concept of "aiming" was alien to him, he ended up shooting everywhere, even hitting Sam in the process. Sam let out a cry as he stumbled back into the edge of the ship and Sam's newfound and unnatural strength sent the ship spinning through the air.  
"Wheeheeehee!" Max and Sam began to float in the air as the gravity of the ship became unstable and flying.

_But perhaps we have gotten a bit ahead of ourselves. Let's back track a bit, shall we?_

Our tale begins on the street known as the Straight and Narrow. On this street lied the office of the Freelance Police, but Sam and Max were not inside their office today. For the city had evacuated them since a mysterious crack opened up in the ground forcing the Freelance Police, and everyone else in the building, outside. A shame too as it was a hot day in the middle July.  
While the two could deal with the heat, the boredom of having nothing to do got to them. Sam and Max lived for adventure, excitement! Peace was just another word for complete and utter boredom to them. But until a new case popped up, they were stuck.

Max had decided to entertain himself by tossing boxes of Sybil's stuff around like a ball, while Sam enjoyed an orange Popsicle treat. He was enjoying his sweet when the phone rang.  
"**You have a phone call,"** the phone, a member of cops, stated. Always ready to answer the phone when it rang, Sam pressed a button and said,

"This is Sam and Max, Freelance Police, _Mobile_ division."

"Oh hello, commissioner! No, we're not in the office; we're locked out of our building."

"It wasn't my fault this time!" Max called defensively as he tossed one of Sybil's boxes into the air. "One treacherous Crack in the street and those pansies from city hall shut down the whole block!" He walked over to the Sam and jumped on the hood to bask in the sun as Sam continued to talk to the commissioner.

"What's that, commissioner? A wave of lawfulness and good-will spreading through the city? No, we didn't have anything to do with that."

"God forbid!" Max gasped, sitting up as he placed a hand over his heart.

"There aren't any crimes for us to solve? Okay then. We'll be on the lookout for anything suspicious." As he hung up, Max spoke,

"Uh, Sam? I think I spotted something suspicious."

"Hm? What's that little buddy?" Sam looked in the direction Max was pointing and his eyes widen.

"Girl Stnky?!" A tall woman twirled a strain of sea foam green hair as she greeted them.

"Hey, Johnny, Yo-yo," she greeted in the kindest tone she could, which came off in the same way someone would talk to a child. "And how are you two today?"

"Suspicious and wondering about the up and coming apocalypse." Sam replied. He was really suspicious for a number of reasons, one being that Girl Stinky was actually somewhere other than behind her counter at the dinner. Girl Stinky forced a laugh.

"Ha, ha! How funny!" she said. Despite the usual thick layer of sarcasm that laced her voice, Sam could tell that she was trying to be nice which sent a shiver down his spine.

"Watch it, Sam! She's up to something!" Max warned, his beady brown eyes narrowed in suspicion.

"Don't worry, little buddy, I am!" Girl Stinky forced another laugh, this one with a hint of annoyance.

"Me? Up to something? Don't be silly! Although now that you mention it there is something I need you two to do."

"I knew it!" Sam pushed Max aside and turned to Girl Stinky. He was genuinely curious to what Girl Stinky could want from them so much that she would come to them and actually try to be polite.

"What up, Girl Stinky?"

"Well, now that Grampa Stinky's back and doing soo much by helping me, I thought I would surprise him by fixing a few loose ends in the dinner. But sadly, my tools were stolen! Can you believe it?"

"No! You work?" Max said. Sam didn't know if he was being serious, but he was sure he wasn't.

"Why don't you just buy new tools?" he asked. "Or do get someone else to do it?"

"Or just what you usually do," Max added. "Nothing at all?" The teal hair dinner girl twirled a strain of her hair as she forced a hard, strained laugh.

"Oh, you two! You're so hilarious. I'm going to be doubled over any minute now." Her blazing sea foam eyes told Sam otherwise. "These tools aren't like others. They're… '_special._' They have a sort of _sentimental_ value to me."

"Sentimental value?" Sam repeated.

"Don't you need a heart for that?" Max scoffed.

"Look, are you going to help me or not?!" Girl Stinky snapped suddenly, eyes slightly blazing. Sam and Max turned to each other and shrugged.

"Meh, sure."

"Why not? It's not like we have anything better to do." Sam stood and straightened his tie, ready to get to work. "What can you tell us about these tools? And do you have any idea who stole them?"

"Oh, trust me. You'll know them when you see them." With an evil smirk and a toss of her hips, Girl Stinky turned away. "Good luck, boys! You know where I'll be." She waved over her shoulder and disappeared into the dinner, leaving a very confused Sam and Max to stare after her.

"Max, did that seem suspicious to you?"

"Compared to what?" Max jumped off the car and stretched as he cracked his back. "So? Where should we start?"

"Well, I guess the best course of action is to randomly drive around until we run into something interesting." Sam said as he pushed himself up.

"Ooh! Can I drive?"

"Not unless aliens abduct us and remove our brains." The last time Max drove, he had done some severe damage to the Desoto (not to mention the city).

"Wait! _Can _we drive? I mean, isn't our car still possessed by demons?" Max asked. Sam looked thoughtful.

"Hm! Good question."

"IT'S NOT SO BAD AS LONG AS YOU DO NOT TRY TO RUN THE AIR CONDITIONER." Sam and Max looked to their ride and inside they spotted the Computer Obsolesce Prevention Society, or COPS as Sam and Max called them. They consisted of Curt 286, Bob Bell, and Chippy.

"Okay… What are you still doing in our car again?" Max asked flatly.

"I said you guys could hang out in our car until you found your own place, but it's been months now." Sam said with a sigh. He should have listened to Max and sent them to the roboclub. Or that Edison guy in that weird Mansion place. From their immediate response, they must have prepared for this.

"YOU HAVE BEEN RANDOMLY SELECTED TO ENJOY A FREE TRIAL OF THE CRIME TRON XL AT NO COST TO YOU." Yeah, random. But Sam was curious and decided to bite.

"'Free Trial?'"

"Ha! There's no such thing as a free trial." Max laughed. "We take the price out the tax payers' money. Or we steal them."

"I don't think they meant that type of trial, Max." Bob Bell spoke up.

"_You have chosen to hear more about the Crime-Tron XL_!" Then low dramatic music started to play. _"In a world where thugs and-"_

"You know what, I don't really care." Max interrupted. For some reason he felt like he heard this conversation before. "Besides, how are you guys supposed to help us fight crime? You're not even as powerful as a cell phone."

"Max, that was completely uncalled for." Sam gently scolded. He completely agreed though.

"WITH MY 16MHZ OF RAW POWER I AM ABLE TO ANALYZE DATA AT SPEEDS RIVALING THE MOST ADVANCED POCKET CALCULATORS." Curt said, trying to up his own self esteem. Sam decided to give them a try.

"Okay, let's try out this Crim Tron XL right now! Maybe it'll help us with Stinky's case." If finding a box of tools could be considered a case. He admitted it lacked the usual luster of their typical cases, but he hoped their usual stream of luck would kick in and Max would be attached to another end of the world prophecy.

"WE'RE SORRY! BUT THE CRIMETRON IS CURRENTLY INOPERATABLE."

"Why?"

"WE ARE STILL RECUITING MEMBERS FOR THE C.O.P.S." Curt replied.

"Blaaztt!" Chippy spoke up.

"_For the last time, we are not letting your Japanese dog into the group."_

"WE TALKED ABOUT THIS; THAT DOG IS STRAIGHT UP CREEPY." Max nodded his head.

"Uh-uh… yeah, so what you're saying is that you free loafers are completely useless." He said. "Just like the NCP in computer games."

"Ouch!"

"THAT WAS DOWN RIGHT MEAN."

"Bleep!"

"I agree Max, even if it is true." Sam stood from his leaning position as he climbed into a car. "C'mon, Max. Let's get this adventure started already."

Sam and Max traffic surfed through the whole city until eventually came to an opening draw bridge. They dove through the toll stop and propelled themselves into the sky. Sam and Max let out cries of exhilaration as they flew through the air and over the city. Finally they landed in a lush forest where they bounced a bit. Sam was enjoying the ride so much that he failed to notice the cliff even after they drove off it.

"Incredible, eh Max?! …Max?" Max had leaped off the car just as it had driven off the cliff. The car landed in a ditch and Sam bounced off the car and rolled into a clearing. Luckily the Desoto was fine.

"Wow! That was so cool, Sam!" Max said as he ran over to his partner. He was grinning wide so that all of his shark-like teeth showing. "I think I heard some bones crack."

"Just my skull!" Sam said as he rubbed it. "Why'd you ditch? You love mindless pain and the tingling sensation upon impact."

"Sorry, Sam! But if my face gets damaged we lose over 90% of marketing and cameos." He dusted Sam's hat off before slamming it on Sam's head. "So? Where to next?"

"I dunno," Sam shrugged. "Usually when I get lost I wait for the voices in my head to start talking."

"You hear voices?"

"Well, not actually 'voices.'" Sam said as he thought of a way to explain this so Max would understand. "They're more like weird impulses that make me do stuff."

"Oh! Like when I get the impulse to reach down a cat's throat and rip out its insides?"

"Something like that. My impulses usually tell me to go left and right, or pick something up." Sam slowly stood. A few bones may be cracked, but it was nothing that would hinder the mission. "Actually, they kinda remind me of our poker buddy. You know the mute."

"Oh yeah! The one who won Miami?"

"Yeah, sometimes I feel that they're controlling my every move…"

"Sounds like you've got a crush!"

"I'm not the one who kissed it. But we're getting off topic." Sam tweaked his hat and looked around. "We need to find Stinky's tools."

"But how? We don't even know where to begin looking." Just as Max said this, a large, alien space craft flew overhead and landed about a few miles away.

"Well, that was convenient!" Sam said excitedly as he slipped his hands in his pocket.

"Ugh! Another space ship? Isn't this alien thing a little old?" Max said a roll of his eyes and an impatient tap of his foot as he folded his arms.

"What are you talking about? We haven't been on any Alien space ships since the mariachi's."

"Really? I thought we were just aboard some space ape's ship."

"Quit fooling around and c'mon!"

Sam and Max ran in the direction of the ship until at long last they found it. Sam pulled Max back and hid in the bushes as a couple of tiny aliens, no bigger than Max, came out.

"Great extraterrestrials with bug eyes and green skin from Pluto! Look, Max! Aliens!" Sam whispered.

"Meh. Been there, done that." Max said, kinda bored. He wasn't sure why, but he felt as if he had dealt with more than enough aliens lately. "I wonder what kind of neat stuff they have on board their ship." The aliens said something to each other in alien language before running off, conveniently leaving the door open. Sam and Max approached it.

"Tch! Aliens are such idiots, Sam!" the lagomorph said with a shake of his head. "Not only do they leave their doors unlocked, but they always leave the stairs down so anybody can just walk in."

"Aliens are very trusting species. Shall we teach them the error of their ways, little buddy?"

"Lets!" They try to rush aboard but are quite violently shocked and thrown back by an electromagnetic force field. They both let out shrill cries as they were tossed into the bushes. Well, Sam landed in the bushes, Max slammed hard into a tree.

"Hm! It would appear that they're not as trusting as we assumed." Sam said as he poked as some singed parts of his fur.

"I feel insulted, Sam!" Max whined as he pulled his face out of the tree. There he left a permanent face mark in its bark like most their marketing products. "How dare they not trust the good, decent folks of earth?"

"There, there, little buddy." Sam comforted. "I have another idea on how to get in." He grabbed Max and walked over to the ship. There he pulls Max's tail and Max's teeth start to act like a lawn mower blade. He uses Max on the side of the ship and creates a large hole, big enough for the two of them to crawl through.

"Ready to climb through the hole, Max?" Sam asked as he sat him down.

"Always, Sam—Oh you mean into the ship. Yeah, I guess I'm ready for that too." Sam gave his partner a slightly disturbed look.

"I don't even want to know what you thought I meant." He said. He climbs inside, followed by Max, and takes a look at the alien space craft. As far as Alien crafts went, Sam wasn't that impressed. While it had glowing buttons with strange languages, and all the advance glowing technology that mankind could never hope to understand, nothing really made it stand out from the other alien space ships they had seen over their career aside from the devilish red glow that filled the ship.

"Wow, this is… bright." He commented.

"Sam, I see red everywhere! Am I having another psychopathic seizure?" Max asked. His hands twitched at his side. Excitement filled him at the thought of being able to go on a rampage.

"Not just yet Max. It's just a bad choice of lighting." Max's shoulders slumped with disappointment.

"Aww!"

"Come on! Let's look around and see if there's anything dangerous and world damning that we can play with." With the Lagomorph close behind him, Sam started on his way down the hall. He was hoping to find a light switch soon for the red lights was starting to make his head throb. Soon they came to a large steel door with at least ten strange bars across it. Sam assumed that this was where all the cool stuff was. Now the question was how to get in.

"Say Max. I don't suppose you have some sort of intergalactic skeleton space key on you, do you?" he asked his partner in crime stopping.

"Nah, just this regular old skeleton key I made from one of the skeletons I found in the basement." Max said as he pulled out a key made of bone.

"Cool!" Sam took the key and used it on the strange alien door. Surprisingly it worked and the door opened with a swift swish!

"Hm. Y'know Sam, I was expecting more. Something along the line of lasers, an army of aliens appearing, a trap door opening. Something!" Just as Max said this a giant glove appeared and smashed him, turning him into a max-pancake.

"Happy now?" Sam asked.

"A bit." Sam peeled him off and fluffed him up. "Now, quit playing in the hall! The cool stuff is sure to be in this super-secret room."

"Can't be that cool if they didn't even leave any guards." They entered the room finally and saw that the room was empty except for one lone tool box that sat in the center of the room. Both Sam and even Max could tell that it wasn't an ordinary tool box, though for different reasons. For Sam it was because the box was in the center of the room on an altar, glowing with a red, almost devilish glow. For Max the voices in his head told him so.

"Ooh! Look at the glowy red box Sam!" he said as his hands tingled with the wanting to touch. "You think that the one Stinky sent us to find?"

"Let's see…" he looked it over. "Dark, evil looking and gives off the vibe that it might kill us the moment we touch it… Yup! That's defiantly something Stinky would own."

"Ooh! I get to play with it first!" Max immediate rushed forward, hand grabbing through the air. Before he could touch the box though, Sam had leaped atop of him, crushing him under foot. Sam could feel his body tingle with a strange, unusual tingling sensation filling him as he slowly reached towards the box. The red static made his fur stand on end as he reached for the steel box. It made him excited, more than the thought of being able to drink a water tower of Banang. Finally he touched the box and from then on Sam knew he would never be the same again.

His body became filled with a blazing red light that burned to his very bone, shocking every cell of his being. The experience was a pain beyond anything he had yet to feel in any of his many adventures, yet oddly enough it was pleasurable. It was as if from the horrid, horrid, every single sensation of pleasure was activated, making him cry out.

"Sam?!" Max watched his partner twitch painfully above him with a slight feeling of worry a bigger feeling of envy. Sam was flashing like one who had been electrocuted by lightning so every other second Max could see his skeleton. "Sam!"

Finally, Sam's body began to settle and he remained a slight control of his mouth.

"Great unnatural, unholy sins against god, man, science, and all things normal and just, Max!" he said, panting heavily. "I got electromagnetic powers!"

"Really? Wow, and here I thought you were having a seizure!" Sam ignored him as he opened the box. He had to fight to bite back a cry as the surging feeling intensified inside of him. Quickly without really looking, yet unable to blink he reached inside the box. He wrapped his hand around a long, steel hammer and when he did he thought his heart would stop.

"Ooh! Look at all the neat stuff!" Max eagerly pokes his head over the side of the box to peek inside, but before he could touch any of the tools, Sam suddenly collapsed to his knees.

"Sam?!" Before his eyes Sam began to transform. His body began to balloon with rip roaring muscles. His head became a strange rectangular shape as his teeth grew into daggers. Max took a step back as the new, fifteen foot tall Sam stood, towering over him like a building. "Uh… Sam?"

Sam looked down at Max with a look that made him nervous. But before anything could happen, Sam and Max suddenly found themselves surrounded by the alien men.

"Well, this sucks!" One the alien men decided to be "brave" and leaped at the new, monstrous Sam. This proved to be a mistake when Sam caught the little guy and crushed him in his claw like hand. Max stared.

"What the hell is the rating on this fanfic again?!"

_Well now! Since we're all caught up, let us return to where we left off, shall we?_

Max let out a joyous cry as everything spun around them like a tornado. He was having fun until an Alien tackled him, resulting in the two of them bouncing like pinball against the ship walls.

"Hey!" Max cried angrily as he clawed at the extraterrestrial. As they fought in the air they hit some buttons unknowingly activating the ships' lasers. What no one realized was that the ship was spinning around the world, releasing lasers and destroying many of the seven world wonders and creating new wonders. A laser even shot into a circus tent and where it scared all the customers out.

Sam eventually became irritated at being kept from his prey. He stamped on the ceiling of the ship. This not only had the effect of creating a hole in the ship, but also a vacuum that not only sucked out Sam and Max, but all the tools in the tool box as well. This resulted in the tools being scattered as Sam and Max crashed into the street right in front of their office as the space ship disappeared into the distance with a twinkle.

"Well!" Max groaned slightly. "That could have been better!"

**(End of Chapter 1)**

So what did you think? Too long, too short? Any grammar mistakes? Are the characters OOC? Let me know review and let me know!

For those who are wondering, since all the Maxes share a hive mind, Max will refer to 'The Devil's Playhouse' at times.

Also, I'm looking for a beta reader, so if you're interest let me know!

Ps

I should probably warn that thanks to school, life, and other projects, it may take a while for the next chapter to get out. But hey! At least the chapters are long. And the story line is written and all planned out so this story has a very good chance of being finished. (Eventually.)


	2. A CH that should be exciting, but isn't

Sam and Max: The Puppet of Destruction

Summary: We know what happened with Max and his Psychic powers, but what about Sam and his Electromagnetic powers?

Disclaimer: Sam and Max belong to Steve Purcell and telltale games. I just own this fanfic.

Notes/Warning: As I do not own Sam and Max they may be out of character, and even though this is for teen, I mean 16+. This mean there will be a few "violent scenes." (It's Sam and Max! What do you expect?)

**(Chapter 2: A Chapter that should be exciting, but really isn't)**

The lights of the street hurt Sam's head as his dark eyes blinked trying to bring everything into focus. Everything hurt inside Sam. His eyes hurt, his head hurt, his muscle were screaming in agony, his teeth stung at his gums, and even his bones were stabbing at him.

He cringed very visibly as he sat up, even letting a hiss escape through his teeth.

"What happened?" he asked. He rubbed his tough, yet almost fragile skull as Max shook his own head to regain himself.

"Oh, nothing much," Max told him as he rubbed it as if to make sure it was still on. He calmly brushed himself off. It was like he never fell out of space ship. More like he had only stumbled slightly. "You just transformed into a giant werewolf like monster before trashing the space ship resulting in the scattering of Stinky's tools."

"What?! No way!" Sam cried suddenly, jumping to his feet. Max jumped slightly at his friend's sudden movement. "Quick Max, we gotta find them and fast!" Max blinked.

"Wow, Sam. I've never-" Sam ran pass Max.

"No time for mindless banter, Max! We've gotta find those tools!" he called.

"…Seen ya so excited." Max finished flatly and slightly annoyed. "And there's ALWAYS time for mindless banter! Hey! Wait up!"

Max followed Sam down the street and into Stinky's dinner. With the return of Grampa Stinky, the dinner had undergone some serious changes. Instead of the old 1950s look it had before, the dinner had an old sailor's feeling to it, right down to the feeling of sea sickness.

"Oh, look," Girl Stinky said with a long stretch of her voice as they approached. "It's Barney and Jug-Jug."

"'Barney and Jug-Jug?' Ugh! You're not even trying with the names anymore, are you?" Max said with the roll of his eyes and the fold of his arms.

"Whatever! How's the search coming?" She asked rather eagerly. "Did you two find my… 'tools' yet?" Max didn't like the look that came into her eyes when she asked that. She looked suddenly like a shark who had just spotted a stranded surfer with a severed limb. As Max's already high distrust of Girl Stinky went up a notch, Sam spoke.

"No, not yet." He lied quickly. Sam was usually a pretty good liar, no scratch that, he was the best when he wanted to be. (In Max's opinion) But now Sam's hand was twitching slightly as he spoke and his face was a little too eager. Whether or not Sam took note of this he stuffed his hand into his coat and forced his voice to a slow. "We actually wanted to get a little more information about them."

Max didn't know if Girl Stinky believed them, but he felt his fur stand as a cat like grin crossed her scary, but admittingly attractive face.

"What do you need to know?" she purred. "They're awesome, cool, glowing tools, and I want them back. Trust me, if you saw them you'd understand perfectly."

"Boy do we ever!" Max grunted as Sam elbowed him.

"We were just wondering if there's anything else you'd like to tell us." He said innocently. "Like what they look like, how to find them if they accidently fell a thousand miles above ground from a space ship that was spinning out of control;"

"Or why they would be in a space ship in the first place, why they glow, or how they turn pudgy cops into fifteen foot monsters?" Max added in a low tone.

"Hey!"

Girl Stinky rolled her eyes as the drawl returned to her voice.

"Look, I don't know what you're talking about, but finding things is supposed to be YOUR job, remember?" she said, her eyes narrowed slightly. "Just wander around randomly like you always do. I'm sure you'll find something!" She straightened herself up and fiddled with her tiara. "Now, is there anything else you want, or can I get on with my life?"

"Nah, that should be it." Sam turned to walk away, but was stopped by Max.

"_Sam!_" he hissed. Sam looked at him and sighed.

"Okay," he turned back to girl Stinky. "Let's see… I'll take a double bacon cheddar deluxe, heavy on the whacky sauce. Two orders of the jalapeno cheesy poofter, Rhode Island style."

"No! Three!" Max jumped up.

"Sorry, I'm on break," Girl Stinky interrupted as she observed her long nails. "Besides, we both know two are just doing this to waste time."

"Hmph! She's got us there, Sam." It was then Sam took note of something over Girl Stinky's shoulders.

"Hey, what happened to your fry cook?" he asked.

"Yeah, what was his name again? Sal, Brock, Kronk, or something?" Max added.

"You poor dears must be mistaken. It's always been just me here, working the counter and the kitchen, no one else. That's why I'm sooo glad that Grampa Stinky's back." The way she stretched each word told Sam that she was lying. Then again she always lied so this was nothing new.

"Well, thing must be a bit easier now that Grampa Stinky's back!" he said optimistically.

"Oh, yes it's heaven." There was such poison in those words that Sam had to take a step back. "Look at what he's doing to the place! He's destroying the ambience."

"Yeah, this place USED to be an assault on all five senses." Sam agreed. "Now it's just a misdemeanor battery."

"Six senses Sam. There was always that uncanny premonition of a severe stomach upset in your future and a quick trip to the local hospital." Sam chuckled.

"You crack me up little buddy. But seriously," he turned back to the fuming princess. "You and Grampa Stinky should patch things up. Can't you see what it's doing to Max?" On cue, Max started to cry.

"I hate it when they fight!" he whined. Girl Stinky rolled her eyes.

"Oh, I don't think Grampa Stinky is going to be a problem for much longer…" she said evilly.

"Intriguing!" Max grinned a devilish smile as he looked between them.

"I've signed us both up for relationship counseling and a business management seminar." She finished cheerfully. Max's shoulders slumped in disappointment.

Finally, Sam decided that he had wasted enough time.

"Well, we'll let you know when we find anything." Sam lied, his hand tightening around something in his pocket. Girl Stinky smiled wickedly.

"Yeah…" she purred. "You do that." Sam and Max were so creeped out that both were slow as they backed away.

"Okay, is it just me or is Girl Stinky more creepy than usual?" Max whispered as they neared the door.

"Something really weird is going on and for this neighborhood that's really saying something." Sam stated. "But you know what? I find that I couldn't care less as long as we find those tools!"

"I never really cared in the first place." Max admitted. "Still, I am kinda curious what Girl Stinky is up to."

"Maybe she's not up to anything at all," Sam said optimistically. "Maybe she really is just trying to do something nice for Grampa Stinky." Max gave him a long, flat look. "Yeah you're right; she's defiantly up to something. But what?"

"Hopefully something big, or the readers will severely disappointed and won't review."

"Careful with those fourth wall jokes, Max. We don't want to become too dependent on them and end up having the wall of reality fall on us."

"Don't tell me! Tell the writer."

Before Sam this conversation could continue to the point where the readers would become tired of this gag, a very upset and very angry old man came stomping out from the stairs leading to an apartment just above the dinner. Sam recognized the old man to be none other than—

"Hey, Grampa Stinky! What's up?" Sam and Max jumped slightly as the old man rounded on them.

"You! You're the law enforcement around here, so do something!"

"Do what?!" Max asked, slightly offended that he was yelling at them when they hadn't done anything! (yet)

"What's going, Grampa Stinky?" Sam asked, being the more reasonable of the two.

"Someone stole my cook book!" Grampa Stinky yelled. Max gasped.

"No! You mean someone else will be making horrible, inedible food and making money off it? Sam! It's another Mc Donald's food chain!"

"My stomach is churning already!" Grampa Stinky tightens his fists as he glared at the two.

"Will you two cut it out?!" he growled. "THIS. IS._** SERIOUS**_!" Max scoffed as he rolled his eyes.

"Oh, yeah!" he sneered. "Missing cook book are a major thing! It's right up there with missing tools—OW!" Max glared up at Sam who had lightly kicked him. Grampa Stinky paid no mind to it.

"This ain't no ordinary cook book!" he shook his fist as he spoke. "This is my demon cook book! It contains all my spells to the dark culinary arts, including the one that made her!" he pointed to the bored Girl Stinky who appeared to be texting. For the first time in a long time Sam and Max looked frightened.

"An army of _Girl Stinkies_?!" Sam gasped.

"Sam! I'm scared!" Grampa Stinky nodded.

"Aye, now ye understand what's at stake here." He fixed them with a stern look. "Find me book of demon recipes and return it to me at once!"

"Okay, Grampa Stinky. We'll keep an eye out for it." Sam promised.

"Yeah! So we can use its dark powers to do whatever the hell we want!" Max said with an evil laugh.

"We already do that, Max!" Sam reminded him. "Remember? You're president still?"

"Oh yeah! That reminds me, we still gotta bomb North Dakota for trying to break away and become an independent nation." Grampa Stinky threw his head back and rolled his eyes.

"What is this world coming to?" he muttered. "Next we'll have to deal with Elder Gods and adolescence psychic Pharaohs!" Ignoring this weird, yet somehow familiar sentence, Sam got down to business.

"Do you have any idea who would want to take your book, Grampa Stinky?" he asked, the idea of a thousand girl Stinkies seeping to the back of his mind to no doubt haunt him in his nightmares for the many nights to come.

"Just one…" The old sailor cast a suspicious look in the direction of the fem fatale of the dinner, who was looking bored, yet strangely thoughtful. Sam felt himself give a sigh.

"Can't you and girl Stinky just get along?" His natural, peaceful nature hated to see the two Stinkies that they come to dislike each in their own special way argue all the time. Now if they got into a fist fight on the other hand…

"Yeah, all these negative vibes are affecting my psychic energy."

"_What_ psychic energy?"

"The energy I hope to unlock when I find the right **toy**!" Max hands twitched like Sam's did when they had found the toy box. Grampa Stinky ignored this.

"SHE'S the one who's locked me out of me own KITCHEN!" he complained. "Instead, she has me working the register and making delivers! A great Chief like me!" Girl Stinky, who had obviously been listening in, called;

"I _told_ you, Grampa!" she said sweetly. "I just want to make it… nicer. So that it's worthy of your skills. Which would be a whole lot easier if two certain _detectives_ would do their **job**!"

"She talking about us, Sam?" Sam turned back to Stinky and decided to get back to the original topic.

"Did you actually get to see the crime go down?"

"I didn't get a chance to!" Grampa said, almost tearfully. "I was just getting ready to get started on this Demon Broth recipe when out of nowhere my room was hit by a laser! I was knocked out cold until this morning and when I woke I found my precious cook book gone! You have ta find it!"

"Don't worry, we'll get right to it," Sam assured him.

"Eventually." Max finished. Sam, getting bored with this tedious talk, decided it was time to go.

"We'll see you later, Grampa Stinky. C'mon, Max!"

When were alone, Max turned to Sam.

"Hey, Sam; Should we be concerned about these robberies? I mean, first the tool and now the cook book? Some thing seems up."

"I see where you're going with this buddy, but all I care about right now is finding those tools!" As he said this a tingle went through his body. "Whoa! You feel that?"

"Feel what?" Sam looked around. Something was causing this feeling, but what? He looked out the window and spotted Flint Paper!

"Hey, look, Max!" Max gasped.

"It's Flint Paper!" he said with a school girl gush. Flint, who seemed to have seen them and beckoned them over. They left the dinner and crossed the street to where he was.

"Hiya, furry pals!" Flint greeted, completely unaware how many, many fangirls (and some boys) would interpret this line.

"Hey Flint! What's up?"

"You two just caught me in the biggest case of the year!" the human replied, making sure they were well out of sight.

"A big case?" Max said, his shark like eyes widening.

"What case are you working on?" Sam asked, a little too quickly. He wasn't sure why, but as he got closer to Flint his body started to emit a sharp, tingling feeling that worked its way to his bones. He managed to hide it well enough, but it was a bit harder to keep it out of his voice.

"Get ready to have your furry minds blown, fellas! This goes _way_ back!" Flint said, his arms moving to empathize his point. "Think back; what do we really know about this Stinky Doll?"

"Well, the story is that Grampa Stinky created her using some sort of demonic spell, and she's been running the dinner ever since." Sam explained remembering the events of season 2. Flint scoffed.

"Yeah! Something you'd have to be some kind a idiot to believe!" he said with a roll of his eyes. Sam and Max shared abashed looks.

"Right," Max said slowly. "Idiot." Flint wasn't listening.

"So I started digging around and found this out back;" He dug in his grey pockets and pulled out a note. He handed it to Sam and he read,

"_Stinky my Queen, you say we have to wait, but I don't know how long we have. We must hurry, or the plan may fail again. I may not be human, but even I won't last under these conditions. We have to get started on phase 2 soon, whether or not we have all the items. I will see you after I get things set up, Love S._"

When Sam finished a suspicious frown worked its way on to the human detective's face.

"An inhuman monster, in bed with Stinky, planning something BIG, with a guy with a name that starts with S." he stated, frowning at the two. "You know what that means! Or at least you should, SAM!"

"What?!" Sam felt his fur rise as he barked at Flint. Him and Girl Stinky? The thought both horrified and disgusted him. Max clicked his tongue playfully.

"You think you know a guy," he teased with a shake of his head. "I'm not angry, Sam, just very disappointed." He knew that Sam wouldn't go out with Stinky in a million years, but the look on his face when he teased him always made Max chuckle.

"Cut it out, Max!" Sam scolded him. He turned back to Flint. "Trust me, I'm not going ANYWHERE with Girl Stinky." Flint frowned for a moment then sighed.

"Okay, I believe you. Besides, according to Sybil she ain't your soul mate," he stated. "But then why have you two been hanging around Stinky then?"

"I can't lie to Flint Paper, Sam!" Max whispered urgently.

"I can, little buddy!" Sam assured him. Turing to Flint Paper he said, "We were just trying to get some food from her. You know how long it takes to get an order." Flint let a hallow laugh.

"Tell me about it! I'm still waiting for an order of spaghetti." He stated.

"Yeah," Sam spoke a little quickly as the tingling in his bones started to turn to a sharp numbness. What the heck was wrong with him? "Hey, you haven't noticed anything weird since last night, have you?" Flint became very thoughtful.

"Now that you mention it… I did see a space ship last night." He said. "It went tumbling through the air shooting lasers. It was no different that the Bermuda triangle incident though, so I didn't pay it much mind. It did drop this though;" he dug in his back pocket and pulled out a hand held GPS. "It saved me from getting, *eh heh* 'axed,' but I can't work it for anything! You can have it if you want." Flint dropped the GPS into Sam's eager hand. When it touched his flesh his body once again became filled with a blazing red light that burned to his very bone, shocking every cell of his existence. It wasn't as pleasurable as before, but it was like a sip of water after three days stranded in a desert with none.

Both Flint and Max had jumped back when the red lightening had surrounded Sam, but Max ran over when he fell to the ground.

"Sam! Are you alright?" he asked. He was worried about Sam's loud panting and his half glazed eyes.

"Better than fine!" Sam said. He blinked a few times and saw that his vision was like a map of the whole city with thousands of dots. "Great Dancing leprechauns riding a pony down a rainbow of shamrocks, Max! You see what I see?"

"What your life flashing before your eyes?" Max frowned. "Or your sense of reality slipping away?"

"No a map of the city! The GPS must have given me the power to see the city with a cyber-bird's eye view!" Sam explained excitedly.

"What in the name of a busted hobo's tin can is going on?!" Sam and Max flinched. For a moment Sam and Max had forgotten Flint was there.

"Uh, well…" Max started, but as stated earlier he couldn't lie to Flint Paper. Luckily, Sam could lie to a priest in church on Sunday.

"It's a new trick I learned while Max I and I were in hell. Nothing major." He said. He was shaky as he stood so Max had to balance him. "Well, Max and I have a crime spree to start—stop. We'll see you later, Flint!" Flint looked them over disbelievingly.

"Oookay…" he said slowly. "You two take care. I'm gonna check round back."

Max had to half carry Sam away from Flint to the steps of the office.

"Hey Sam, you sure you're okay?" he asked as he helped Sam sit. "You don't look too great."

"What are you talking about? I told you I'm fine!" Sam said as he looked at his partner. Or at least he believed he was looking at his partner. "I'm just getting used to my new vision. Right now I'm trying to sort out all these dots." Max stared at his friend then shrugged. Sam was the more cautious of the two and if he said he was fine, then he was fine! Besides, Max really wanted to find those other tools and see what they could do!

"Can you find the tools on that map of yours?" he asked eagerly as he leaned over. Sam pressed his lips in thought.

"Hm! I think they're the red dots." He said.

"Alright then!" Max said with a jump. "Let's go find them then!" Sam nodded like a puppy that had been offered a stick.

"Right Sam! I mean, Max! Let's get a move on this adventure!"

The two didn't realize this, but both were being watched closely by two pairs on reptilian eyes that were surveying them from a man hole ominously. They hissed at each other before vanishing into the sewer.

**(End of Chapter 2)**

Alright, well this finally got out! No reviews, but I promised myself to finish this, so here's another chapter for those who are still reading.

Sorry, nothing exciting happened, but I hope to make it up in future chapters. Please review if you're reading!


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